All kids reach that critical point where they almost seem like they're in between childhood and the teenage years — the tween years. This shift usually happens shortly before puberty, between the ages of 9 and 12. And, believe it or not, it's actually a very important developmental stage for kids because of all the changes that occur.
However, very few parents feel fully prepared for all of these sudden changes that occur in their sweet child once they reach the tween years. If you're feeling in the dark, read about these five changes that occur when your big kid morphs into a tween.
5 Tweens Develop Their Own Identity
While most children start showing off their personality in small ways, your kid will begin a more extensive road towards self-discovery turning those pre-teen years. During these formative years, your child may explore new passions, change their wardrobe completely, and even branch out into new friend groups. This is all part of the search for their identity — and it may take years for them to finally settle into something that makes them comfortable.
Because of this, the experts at Very Well Family suggest parents give their kids the space to explore their new passions and really decide who they want to be for the rest of their life. It may take some time (and lots of wardrobe changes) for your child to discover their own identity, but it's worth every bit of it when you get to see them become a version of themselves that they truly love.
4 Tweens Undergo Physical Changes
Just as your child starts the path towards self-discovery, their body starts its own journey too. In fact, their brains undergo dramatic changes starting around age 10, and these changes don't stop until your child reaches adulthood. While these changes ultimately help tweens mature as they age, they can also cause some turbulent times and even tantrums along the way.
The brain isn't the only thing developing during these formative years, though. In fact, The Child Mind Institute states tween's bodies undergo several changes during the pre-teen years. These changes include growth spurts, voice changes, and even puberty. In many cases, these physical changes can cause some clumsiness and growing pains for tweens. These physical changes also increase your child's body awareness and can cause body image issues if not closely monitored.
3 Tweens Undergo Social Changes
As your tween's body and mind change, their interests and circle of friends may change too. In fact, your tween may suddenly stop participating in sports or activities they once enjoyed, and they may explore new extracurricular activities instead.
Because of this, you may notice a dramatic shift in their friend group and you may even watch long-standing childhood friendships fall apart entirely. In many cases, new cliques or social groups form during the tween years, and these groups are based on shared interests.
However, these social changes can also lead to bullying, so keep a close eye on things for your child's safety and wellbeing.
2 Tweens' Relationships With Parents Evolve
Young children often love spending time with their parents and hugging them. However, as your child grows into a tween, you may notice some extreme changes in the way in which they interact with you. They may no longer trust you completely, and they may even seem embarrassed by you for no particular reason.
According to Care.com, these changes can also include an increased desire for privacy and secrecy between tweens and parents. Your tween may suddenly feel uncomfortable sharing details of their day or friendships with you, and they may even close their door and request that you knock before you enter. This doesn't mean anything is wrong, though. It just means their relationship with you is changing — at least for the time being.
1 Tweens Experience Behavioral Changes
While most of us consider the teenage years to be filled will rebellion, the shifts that allow all of that to happen actually start much earlier. In fact, the experts at Healthline claim your tween may undergo all sorts of behavioral changes as well.
For example, tweens often start taking more risks and throwing caution to the wind, especially if that caution is tied to rules from you (the parent). They may also look for ways to bend the rules or break longstanding rules just for fun or spite. While these risks can sometimes lead to good outcomes, they can also put tweens into dangerous situations that they may not seek help for if you remain disconnected from them.
Tweens may also start engaging in behaviors or trying things you didn't even realize they knew about, especially if they feel heavily influenced by their peers. For this reason, it's important to maintain strong communication with your tween so they can confide in you if needed.
Because of all the sudden changes that happen, the tween years can be tricky to navigate for both kids and their parents. By knowing what your child is going through, however, you can begin to prepare yourself to help them out and give them the space they need to flourish.
Sources: Verywell Family, Child Mind Institute, Care.com, Healthline
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May 27, 2021
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