In all likelihood, it also took the involvement of Keegan-Michael Key, who was hosting SNL for the first time and played Jordan in the sketch. The real star of the prerecorded video segment, however, was cast member Heidi Gardner, who did an amusing and visually dead-on impression of one of the most memorable minor characters from “The Last Dance.”
Gardner portrayed the late John Michael Wozniak, a security guard at Chicago’s United Center during Jordan’s heyday with the Bulls. Late in the 1997-98 season that gave the series its name, Wozniak is shown besting Jordan in a contest to see who could toss a quarter closest to the wall of an office in the arena. Not content with simply pocketing a $20 bill from His Airness, Wozniak twice hits the shrug that Jordan made famous during the 1992 NBA Finals.
The SNL version moves the action to the middle of the 1993 Finals, when Jordan’s Bulls squared off with Charles Barkley and the Phoenix Suns. With Gardner in a wig that very much resembles Wozniak’s distinctively large, gray perm, she recreates the double shrug as Key’s MJ is visibly annoyed.
The sketch then refers to the many occasions in “The Last Dance” on which Jordan recalls avenging slights, perceived and otherwise, and says something along the lines of, “It became personal with me.” This time, Key’s character is shown telling an off-screen producer, “He did that little shrug, and I took that personally.”
The faux-MJ is then shown upping the ante to $1,000. As Gardner’s Wozniak begins losing, he tells the camera with a nervous laugh: “That’s financially rough for me. The wife’s not going to like that.”
Eventually, as SNL cast members impersonating Dennis Rodman and Phil Jackson extol Jordan’s legendary competitiveness, Wozniak gets $9,000 in arrears to Jordan, who dismisses the sum as a mere day’s pay. Then Barkley, played by Kenan Thompson, turns up and balloons the stakes to $5,000, or, in Wozniak’s case, his pants and other more costly losses.
In real life, Wozniak — who died approximately four months before “The Last Dance” aired — was essentially handpicked by Jordan to help provide security for him, and the two remained close after his NBA career ended. Jordan eventually paid him a generous salary to oversee a Chicago-area property, Wozniak’s son said last year, in part to help his friend financially after a costly divorce.
“I can call Michael anytime,” Wozniak said in 2016. “I just spoke to him the other day. I was concerned about the conditions in Florida and what they were going to encounter with the hurricanes, and he said, ‘Don’t worry, Johnny, I built this house to withstand anything.’ ”
Wozniak, a former narcotics detective with the Chicago Police Department, said then that two former colleagues in the organized-crime division initially befriended Jordan and brought in Wozniak to round out a small group of personal security guards who were added to the Bulls’ staff when Jordan returned to the NBA in 1995.
“I traveled with Michael to every major city in the U.S., but I also went along with his family on vacations, to events, even all the way to Paris,” Wozniak added in the 2016 interview. “All over the world. A tremendous bond was formed, and we took it seriously.”
Along the way, Wozniak had more than a few occasions to experience Jordan’s hypercompetitive nature.
“One time during a Christmas party, my dad beat Michael at pool,” his son, Nicholi Wozniak, said in 2020 after the “The Last Dance” put his late father in the spotlight. “He kicked my dad out of the Christmas party.”
In the ESPN series, Jordan is seen telling Wozniak and others after losing at the quarters game: “Y’all get the hell outta here. Go protect the damn United Center.” As they laugh, he yells, “Security! Come get security out of here.”
SNL took a first shot at “The Last Dance” while it was still unspooling in May 2020, but to less comedic effect. The premise of that sketch was that, interspersed among cast members impersonating former Bulls teammate Steve Kerr and sports journalists David Aldridge and Andrea Kremer, North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un was also put on camera to provide his recollections of Jordan’s championship runs. The problem was that no one, including Bowen Yang as Kim, came across in as likable or entertaining a fashion as Gardner did in channeling Wozniak.
Saturday’s version also benefited from the presence of Key, who helped create a number of entertaining sports-related sketches with partner Jordan Peele on “Key & Peele.” As Jordan, he channeled the mentality that drove the Bulls star to a 6-0 record in the Finals.
“If you’re not playing to win, why play?” Jordan asks aloud in the sketch, waving a cigar. Moments later, he is seen taking Wozniak’s glasses as part of a winning bet that then eliminates any chance the security guard has of beating him.
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In SNL ‘Last Dance’ parody, Michael Jordan gets revenge on shrugging security guard - The Washington Post
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